This is the argument put forward by counsellor and winner of global awards in education and business, a counsellor Madhavi Nawana Parker in her new book, The Friendship Blueprint, who says: “It’s urgent that we act now to nurture our children’s social intelligence and protect their future.”
As Australian legislation to ban social media access for children under 16 takes effect, educators are highlighting how early intervention in social and emotional learning could provide a crucial buffer against its well-documented risks to mental health and self-worth.
The importance of friendship
As the social media ban is enforced, Nawana Parker, who is CEO of Positive Minds Australia and has worked in Australian schools for almost three decades, suggests that restriction alone may not be sufficient.
Instead, Nawana Parker argues that children who develop strong face-to-face relationship skills are better equipped to navigate digital spaces healthily when they eventually gain access.
She suggests teaching children emotional regulation – the ability to notice, understand, and manage feelings – forms the foundation of both healthy friendships and responsible digital citizenship. This means that children who learn these skills early are less likely to base their identity and self-worth on online validation, and instead seek comfort and gain confidence from their friends.
“Delaying device use gives brain more time to develop social skills,” Nawana Parker explains.
“It is my belief, rooted deep in both research and lived experience, that our ability to connect with others is not just nice-to-have, but an essential ingredient for well-being, meaning, and success. In a world that can sometimes feel hurried, uncertain, or even a little lonely, the power of friendship is more important than ever.
“I’ve witnessed countless young people transform, finding confidence, self-awareness, and hope as they overcome loneliness and discover authentic connection.”
Relationship skills as the foundation
At the heart of Nawana Parker’s argument is that the skills needed to build and maintain friendships will not only help children be kinder to each other and navigate disagreements more peacefully, but will also improve their long-term self-worth.
Nawana Parker suggests there is a critical developmental window – even though emotional intelligence continues to develop well into adulthood, the foundations are laid in childhood through real-world social experiences.
The key skills she suggests children need to learn are self-awareness, communication skills, empathy and perspective taking, conflict resolution, inclusion and co-operation.
“Strong friendships depend on emotional intelligence, which includes self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills,” Nawana Parker explains. “These competencies help children stay connected to friends, even during disagreements or challenging times.”
Research cited in the book demonstrates that peer relationships significantly influence children’s values, behaviour and sense of belonging. Children who miss out on these formative interactions may be particularly vulnerable when they later encounter the curated, often toxic environment of social media.
Nawana Parker asks: “Would you rather have 500 followers who scroll past your posts, or two friends who notice when you are unusually quiet? The answer reveals what we all know deep down: that authentic friendship is not measured in cursory clicks, but in genuine care.”
Emotional resilience
As well as providing children with connection and confidence, friendships can also teach children how to repair relationships when things go wrong, Nawana Parker explains.
Building and repairing friendships teaches children critical lifelong skills such as conflict resolution and empathy, and how to respectfully communicate differing opinions – key skills for the online world.
“How can adults help children avoid friendship roadblocks? At this age, emotions often override logic, making it hard to process social upsets calmly. Children need support to manage these challenges. Emotional intelligence and healthy boundaries develop over time.
“When handled with self-awareness, compassion, and respect, these moments help build communication, empathy, compromise, and trust,” she explains.
Nawana Parker suggests that the conflicts and disagreements in childhood help children to develop empathy, learn to self-regulate and refine their communication skills – foundations which will help to determine how they engage with digital platforms later in life.
“Going through everyday misunderstandings, occasionally feeling left out, and experiencing changes in friendship dynamics provide perfect opportunities (with our support and guidance) to develop these skills. While these experiences are all painful, and we certainly don’t want them to happen more than the joyful and mutually respectful interactions, early childhood is practice for the very real ups and downs of human relationships,” she explains.